The rose has lost its bloom. Mostly because it can not flourish under a Bentley-sized cloud of doom.* Despite moving production to exotic Thailand, Ashley - and more importantly us viewers - still could not escape the wrath of Bentley’s ghost. The episode fell kind of flat and (gasp) I couldn’t force myself to watch it that closely despite multiple attempts. Which is to say I probably watched it like a normal person.
*Similar but in no way affiliated with the smoke monster from Lost. Which just happened to be another ABC-syndicated show. RIP.
Episode opens with Ashley at a spa inquiring what activities would be recommended for a date with 12 men.
Spa girl: So many!
One on One Date: Constantine
Constantine seems really nice [read: hot] but has gotten virtually zero screentime, so I was glad Ashley picked him for a one-on-one date to do…something. They ate some food and then ran through the streets of Phuket in pouring rain. Constantine was pretty easygoing and managed to bring Ashley out of her Bentley-funk a little. Rose.
It Takes a Village Group Date
To keep from coming off as the stereotypical ugly American, the guys were instructed to renovate an orphanage. This is commendable. The electric, retina-burning shade of green that was chosen for the walls, not so much.
Josh Groban I mean Ben F’s beanie also falls into this category. Despite the beanie, Ben F made a big impression by painting a mural and acting creative and winemakery. He explained, “It’s all about separating yourself from the herd” while simultaneously painting an elephant.
The guys wheel out ABC-funded bicycles for the orphans and start playing with them.
Lucas: This is the best feeling I’ve ever had!
JP: Ashley made this possible!
That Ashley, she’s pretty amazing. And apparently as rich as ABC.
Later that evening…
Smurf’s Up! at a blue-lit bar somewhere in Thailand.
Ryan: Ashley’s freakin’ rad!
Suddenly everybody hates Ryan. He’s too happy all the time. Boy what a jerk; who would want to be around that? They start scheming and talking smack about Ryan the Terrible. Not to be confused with William the Two-Faced.
MVP Kisser JP gets some “alone time” with Ashley. The other men watch helplessly from their smurfy cabana crying ‘Bring her back!’ Sorry guys, can’t hear you over the insane chemistry.
JUST as Ashley is about to hand out the group date rose, Ryan the Terrible steals her mid-sentence. Texas boy Lucas cries foul. Or more literally, “GOOBER!!!” repeatedly.
The date ends with everyone taking their clothes off and jumping in the pool. Don’t they always?
Rose for Josh Groban.
One on One Date: Ames
Ames waxed poetic about the beauty of Thailand as they glided over a serene, unidentified body of water, admiring the rock formations and surrounding forest. Dinner showcased his rapier wit and he proved more interesting to Ashley than she previously realized. I may have missed most of this date to try the new Rolos McFlurry™. Maybe. (I would recommend it!)
Mixer
We find out more about the guys. Lucas is divorced. Ryan plays the victim card, perfected by Vienna. The other guys are ganging up on him, but he’s there for the right reasons™ and he has “a lot of love in [his] chest.” Hopefully there’s some in his heart too. He throws out a random reference to soldiers. The day after the episode aired was Flag Day...coincidence? Probably.
Rose Ceremony
Ashley asks for an extra rose, which means only one man will be getting the boot.
Roses for:
Lucas
Goober
MVP Kisser
Red Nick
Mickey - I loved his crisp blue shirt and vest combo!
Bland Blake
William the Two-Faced also in a blue shirt…but not as rocking as Mickey
Then showdown of the khaki suits: Ben C vs. West
And the rose goes to…….
Ben C.
West departs on an eloquent note:
“I had a great love. I will cherish that. Unfortunately I lost it, but at least I had it.”
Next
Chiang Mai
Someone wearing pink dies
Constantine feels closer to the guys than he does to Ashley
Chris Harrison: [Smoke Monster] is in the hotel right now.
Ashley: SHUT UP!
Closing shot of Nick doing pushups with Ashley on his back. Not showing off at all.
Extras
Youtube instructional video on the flash mob dance from the previous episode:
Jimmy Kimmel/Ashley Hebert Interview following last week’s episode:
No comments:
Post a Comment