Episode 6: From Dubrovnik With Love

This week Emily continues her whirlwind, worldwide Tour of Love in Dubrovnik, Croatia, leaving Ricki back in the States with a nanny so she can focus on the guys. Now she not only has to remember Croatia fun facts, but must also schlep her own luggage to her new digs. I thought that’s what all those muscle-y guys were for.

Date 1: Travis

Travis gets the dreaded “one of the locals” date where he and Emily partake in street dancing, balancing on a wall ledge (while remaining fully clothed, thank you very much) and going to dinner.

Emily is looking for the Romance Factor. Back at the house, the guys are debating this same topic. Ryan thinks Travis will end up with a girl as weird- nee “quirky”- as he is, but Doug has confidence: “I think he could be romantic if he wants to.” Over dinner, Travis reveals that he went through a broken engagement two years earlier and he hasn’t dated since then.




What better way to ease your way back into the dating world than The Bachelorette emotional roller coaster™? Unfortunately, Emily is not feeling a spark and does not extend a rose. After learning more about Travis, I felt bad for him.




Especially when he tossed aside the umbrella and stalked off into the dark, rainy street. And started crying. So much crying this episode! And cats, oddly.



Group Date: Lasting Love Requires Bravery

This is riveting!

Emily takes the guys to the movies…and watches Brave. Too bad Ricki wasn’t there anymore. Or kid-at-heart DJ Stevie.









Inspired by this blatant product placement, the guys must change into kilts, ride donkeys and participate in The Bachelorette version of the Highland Games.

 Does anyone know how to steer this thing?

= another relationship metaphor opportunity

You're welcome.

This included archery, the log toss and something called Maid Leash. My main question- of many- during this segment was why wouldn’t they have done this in Scotland…since it neighbors England, where they JUST WERE.




My next question was why would Chris get the Bravest Man trophy AND group date rose for losing everything and (stupidly) picking Doug for a test of strength? Did he see Doug’s arms??
 P.S. Thank you Team Bachelor for the ridonkulous changing montage of abs, arms and awesomeness.


Anyway, while Chris and Emily are cuddling, they spot a DOUBLE RAINBOW. Which brings me to the main reason I wanted to write this recap (aside from OCD tendencies): so I could post this!

After a costume change, the gentlemen join Emily for a cocktail party where their divergent personalities really come to light. Observe: One Arie stealing Emily away to make out against a Croatian wall while Jef urges Emily to put more clothes on. This does however, earn Jef a chaste kiss, so I’m not sure if there’s a point to be made.

Date: Ryan

And now for the piece de resistance: a second one-on-one date for egomaniac Ryan. It begins with generous cameratime of him man-primping in the mirror to achieve the perfect bedhead/fauxhawk hybrid ‘do and some creative Hunger Games facial hair. All the while, Ryan is describing what a perfect human being he is in voiceover: “I’m good-looking, I’m a perfectionist and I deserve a rose.” Well let’s go on the date then! Hopefully Emily will be as enamored with you as you are.

They picnic and go oyster boating then change for dinner. Gold gown for Emily the trophy wife, turquoise shoes for Ryan the peacock.

The evening seems to be going well until Ryan pulls out another handwritten manifesto: Twelve Qualities of a Perfect Woman. Alternate title is One Easy Step to Get Yourself Eliminated. Although it looked a little touch-and-go as Ryan tried to steamroll Emily’s initial decision to eliminate him, she stuck to her guns, leaving Ryan without a rose and shocked- SHOCKED!!!

I think I saw this once before on another Disney-syndicated movie- Beauty and the Beast.  A P.A. arrives to remove Ryan’s non-Louis Vuitton luggage and the village rejoices!

Arie seizes the opportunity and sneaks over to Emily’s apartment under the guise of seeing if she is alright and to reiterate the words he should have said LAST week: “I got your back.” Arie is given Ryan’s rose. Making out ensues. Sneaky sneaky.

I need more time!!!

He thinks the other guys won’t find out, but if Bachelor history has taught us anything, it’s that The Others- like life in Jurassic Park- will find a way! 

Rose Ceremony

SteppenWolf steps up his game and busts out the ol’ grandparent funeral cards in his wallet and waterworks, earning him a sad kiss from Emily. Doug also tried to step it up, to varying results. He is extremely awkward, says he misses his son and starts crying. No kiss for sad Doug.

Just when it looked like both would be cut in a double elimination, Emily pulls out a second Final Rose so both are saved- huzzah!

Next Week
Prague (YES)
Chris has big news, more crying
Arie has dated half of the crew. He might not be able to kiss his way out of this one!