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| Bye Sean! |
One F Jef: Meet the Parents
Let’s meet contestant #1! Jef is
a hip water company CEO and philanthropist from Utah looking to settle down and share hair
products with that special someone.
Jef meets Emily’s parents, her
brother Ernie and Ernie’s mute fiancé. Jef brings flowers for Emily’s mother
and Mute Fiancé, but none for Emily. I guess he is her flower. Jef asks Papa Maynard for his permission to marry Emily because it is very important to him and he would not propose without PM’s blessing. The family is WOWed! And it wasn’t just by the electric blue skinny jeans. I am alarmed at how quickly this episode is progressing- something’s up! Is it bad I thought the family referring to Ricky Hendrick as “Big Ricky” is funny?
Arie: Meet the Parents
One F is going to be a tough act
to follow as Papa Maynard ominously confesses to the camera: “I don’t even know
why we’re going through the motions today.” Good luck Arie! Try not to speak
only in Dutch! Or RAMBLE. Apparently Arie is a Ramblin' Rose and
runs his mouth when he gets nervous- in this case offering dubious fishing
advice to Papa Maynard and Ernie, both of whom I suspect are expert fisherman
by their barely suppressed eyerolls.Arie redeems himself- with the womenfolk anyway- by producing a box of all the rose boutonnieres he has been given throughout the season. AW. Ernie is more skeptical in his alone time with Arie, but is won over after Arie reveals he has dated a single mom before. Papa Maynard hesitantly offers his blessing to Arie.
Emily was hoping there would be a
more obvious choice, but her family deflects by saying both men are wonderful.
Papa Maynard: You can’t be in love with two people at the same
time!
Mama Suzie (ROCKIN’ a one-sleeved red mini): I’d encourage you to
wait on any engagement. This will be very confusing for Ricki.
Brother Ernie: If you don’t know who to pick by now, I certainly can’t tell you.
Mute Fiancé: [Crickets chirping]
Jef: Last Chance...for Romance!
Jef’s M.O. for this date is to meet Ricki. He is gunning to propose and finds it odd that he has not met the most important person in Emily’s life yet.
Jef’s M.O. for this date is to meet Ricki. He is gunning to propose and finds it odd that he has not met the most important person in Emily’s life yet.
Jef: I want to meet Ricki. I’ve been preparing my whole life to be
a good dad.
Emily: I don’t know. Like, it’s weird. No not weird, but…I
introduced her to Brad and felt guilty after it didn’t work out.
Jef: Put yourself in my shoes. She could be my stepdaughter.
Emily:…You’re right. Let’s go meet Ricki.
ADORABLEness ensued as Jef won
over Ricki by acting impressed with her pool tricks, complimenting/wearing her
cool pink goggles and letting her push him in the pool. The three splashed
around and really looked like a cute little family.
Ricki is sent to bed and Emily and One F change for dinner. One F gifts her with a Curacao 360 book, which he has augmented with stick figure drawings of them enjoying different Curacao attractions. The pair looks like a couple in a real relationship, as they peruse the book and joke around- as opposed to Arie, which appears to be a purely physical relationship. This should be interesting.
Debriefing with Chris Harrison
Usually this happens after both
Last Chance dates, so something IS up!
Emily: I know I’m going to pick Jef. [BOMB!]
But how do I
even start the rejection conversation with Arie??
CH: If this is the
decision you’ve made, you need to be true to yourself…
You’s on your
own grrrl! Seacrest out.
Arie: Last Chance…Forever!
Oh evil Bachelor producers, why must you force Arie to concoct a love
potion while he waits for Emily’s rejection?? Upon gathering her belongings and
safely exiting the Rejection Van of Doom, Arie slathers Emily with the
freshly-made love potion and a seductive: “I’m supposed to rub it on your arms
and legs.” Before anything gets beyond PG however, our Bachelorette dissolves
into a puddle of tears.
Emily: Let’s sit down for a minute.
Arie: Sure- are you ok? What is it?? What’s wrong Boo???
Em: Everyone yesterday loved you. I always thought it would be me
and you…[trails off]
As realization sets in, Arie
pulls an emotional 180 and stomps off through the jungle with Emily in tow: ARIE!!!
Arie [spinning on his heel]: You’re not going to get the goodbye
you wanted. I don’t know what to say. Thank you for sparing me from the
ceremony tomorrow.
Emily cries it out, but pulls
herself together knowing she will be reunited with her Prince Charming tomorrow.
I give more than I get. I deserve
a nice person. I was so sure of us- it’s unreal that it’s over. I feel so
stupid…so naïve.
HUGE difference between Arie’s
terse departure and Sean’s gracious one last week.
The Dress
The Ring
The Proposal
Emily: You are everything I ever wanted. You are my soulmate. I
love you SO much!
Jef: After talking to your brother, he said you felt like giving up
on love…but I’m so glad you didn’t because I found my everything.
And as Peter Cetera’s tenor soared
triumphantly in power ballad Glory of Love, Little Ricki ran out to the proposal stage as
if on cue and the three walked hand-in-hand into the superimposed Curacao sunset. *TEARS*
Final Notes
And while I adore Glory of Love and many other cheesy songs, I am no One F Jef. For him, they should have chosen something hipper, like We Are Young by Fun:
That being said, it looks like
this is the real deal and I hope Emily and Jef defy the Bachelor couple odds. Congratulations!
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